One year of transformation journal

On Saturday I woke up at 7 am and made coffee for the family. I then started to wash and chop down the veggies for the appetizers, as my aunt chopped down the meat and cheese. Then I helped my other aunt to prepare the rice. After that I arranged the appetizer plates and my brother helped me with that.  We reheated in the oven the barbequed chicken thighs that my dad prepared the day before. When the guests and the priest arrived, I helped my family serve the guests.  My grandma's commemoration lasted until 1 p.m. I then fell asleep in my bedroom and woke up at around 5 p.m. When I woke up my aunt said that I did very good and that I was diligent. That warmed my heart.  In the morning I had a berry protein shake and at lunch some veggies with meat and cheese. In the evening I had the same thing. On Sunday I woke up at around 10 a.m. I can't remember what I ate, but I had my supplements with every meal. The entire day was sleepy and I don't remember doing anything notably. T

Today I took a day off from work because I needed to help my mom with the preparations for grandma's 40 day death commemoration. I woke up at around 09 a.m. and went to the nearest town with our family's friend to buy food and necessities for the commemoration. My mom had already started to make food for the event before I was gone. In the afternoon my auntie visited and stayed the night. I helped my auntie and mom with the food packages for the people. It is customary in Romania to give away food and invite people over when it is a funeral or a commemoration. In the evening we also made the koliva (a traditional desert made with boiled wheat, walnuts and sugar, served only on funerals or commemorations).  My dad and my uncle made the barbeque for the invitees. We finished the work at around 9:30 p.m. I was so tired that I couldn't fall asleep easily.  I didn't forget to take my supplements and have decent meals. I didn't pay attention to what I was eating, I rememb

 There isn't much to say here except that this was a normal day. I had my protein shake in the morning, and protein for lunch and dinner.  I felt refreshed all day long although I am in the week before my period starts and I usually feel sluggish. I had a lot of work to do today. I feel the supplements really kicking in and I have never felt better.  I walked a bit in the evening.

I think I had too much protein for one day. I had it in my morning chocolate shake, at lunch in my fried eggs, then at 4:30 pm in my berry and chocolate protein shake, in the evening when I had cheese and pork ciorba for dinner and in my supplements. I need to pay attention more to what I am eating because I don't want to disrupt anything in my body.  Nutrition wise, I did well today until dinner time when I indulged in ciorba and cottage cheese with sour cream. But overall I think I did ok.  I don't want nutrition and weight loss to be my main goals in life all my life so I want to focus on them now and resolve the issue. I want to reach 90 kg in the following two months. I cannot bring myself to exercise though. I need to start with baby steps again and change my mentality into believing that sport is not work, but leisure time, I thing that I should get done when I am bored, or tired.  I read 100 pages from Segovia's book, "the winemaker's wife". Weight tod

 I woke up at eight o'clock. Despite the fact that it was super chilly and cloudy outside, I felt awesome for the entire day. I didn't have energy spikes or lows. I think this is due to the new supplements that I've started to take since yesterday. The day went easily and I didn't have too much work to do, so I read 160 pages from Kristin Harmel's book "The Winemaker's Wife". In the evening I did some bullet journaling and this was my day. I'd say that I ate pretty clean today, except for 2 Roshen chocolate candies at lunch.  Weight : 98.2 kg ↑ Wake up : 08:00 Breakfast : supplements + protein shake  Lunch : supplements + 2 drumsticks + one boiled egg + 2 pralines  Snacks : spirulina latte+apple+2 boiled eggs+ cucumber slices + leftover grean beans + 1 slice of bread  Dinner : supplements + veggies stew + polenta + cottage cheese with sour cream and spring onions Book : Kristin Harmel - The Winemaker's Wife. 

 I woke up early today, had cheese and veggies for breakfast and started working at around 9 a.m. At noon I received my supplements and made myself a spirulina latte. The taste is not bad but I don't think I will ever be eager to have a spirulina latte. Before lunch I had my supplements (lion's mane capsule, 2 spirulina capsules and CLA capsule).  I read around 130 pages from Segovia's book, which absolutely broke my heart and finished the rest before bed.  Before dinner I had a 15 minutes stroll with my brother in the fields and I took the same supplements that I took for lunch.  Today I also opted for a cheaper mobile subscription, which offers me the same benefits as my old one. I am very happy about it because the services are better. Weight : N/A Wake up: 8 a.m. Skin care : N/A Breakfast : veggies + cheese+ bread Snack : spirulina latte Lunch : spirulina+lion's mane+CLA + 2 fried eggs + bread+mushrooms Dinner : spirulina+lion's mane+CLA capsule+ bread and yogu

 I woke up earlier than yesterday. I had breakfast and then I took a nap. I don't know why I felt exhausted like that. After I woke up I did my skin care routine and read 100 pages in two hours. Then I went for a walk in the nature with my brother. We walked 3.4 km in aprox. 49 minutes and burned 479 calories.

 Lazy day.  I woke up at around noon. I read 100 pages and watched Emily in Paris.  I took this nice photo and I blocked a person on Facebook, who was bothering me. It is nice to cut the toxic people out of my life.

I was expecting to weigh a lot more since i cheated a lot yesderday, but I have a surplus of only 200 grams. That is OK. I can live with that. I felt sluggish at work. Thank God that I didn't have much of a workload. While at work I had the chance to read 100 more pages from "The murmur of the bees" and to watch the rest of the episodes from "How to get rich". In the evening I placed a clothes order and watched "Emily in Paris", season 2. I didn't feel the need to apply skin care. I placed an order at the pharmacy for Spirulina, lion's Mane and other suppléments.  Weigh: 82.2 kg Breakfast : Fried egg + 1 tomato + 1/2 capia pepper + 3 slices of salami Lunch : sandwich with salami, cheese, cucumber, ketchup Dinner : polenta + pork stew Book : Sophia Segovia - The murmur of the bees TV series : Emily in Paris 

I can`t bring myself to exercise. I woke up late again, but I slept well last night although I went to bed at around 2 am. I felt sluggish in the morning, but the menthol in my tooth paste and the cold water that I washed my faced with woke me up instantly. I wish I could be more motivated in the morning, but I cannot bring myself to do anything.  I had a lot of work to get done, but it was easier than yesterday. I did declutter my room a bit and in the evening and I read 100 pages from Sofia Segovia`s book "The Murmur of Bees". Diet wise, I cheated today but I think it was moderately. This time I could stop myself from binge eating. I think that a good part on development is to know when to stop the habits that could damage you long-term. I already know that tomorrow I will weigh more, but I am proud of myself for not going overboard with binge eating. My mom gave a champagne cream filled croissant, but I didn't eat it; I didn't open it and it still stays on my night

Today I woke up more refreshed and earlier than yesterday. I had an excellent night's sleep.  I didn't feel hungry in the morning so I had my lunch later, at around 12-13 pm. I had a shower in the morning and I washed my face with a cleaner from Bioderma, then I applied a serum, salicylic acid and a SPF cream to my face.  I tried to read something today during work hours, but I could only read 1 story from Fănuș Neagu's book. I continued reading from his book after dinner.  Although I feel good about my new diet, I still crave for things. So I snacked on smoked chicken breast even though I shouldn't have and had two vanilla biscuits. In the evening I had a lamb stew instead of chicken.  It is very difficult for me to focus. I find myself picking up my phone to look for something and then I wake up scrolling or playing games. I try to reduce the time I spend on my phone with doing something more productive. What is a blessing could also be a curse.  I want to give my bod

Last night as I was scrolling on a very famous app, I came across a video which I think is a turning point for my life. It was an edited clip from the Marvel's Avengers meeting room, shown as if the Avengers were biblical characters. Nat was a guardian Angel, Sam was Jesus etc. They were all watching a footage of a young fat lady sleeping all day on her couch, scrolling and binge-watching TV series. The description said something similar to "God and His court in Heaven making me watch how I spent my life". And it hit me, because that person was like me.  If I should honestly describe myself, I would say that I am a 29 yo work from home, obese, single, almost blind woman, who lives in her parents house in the country side, where nothing really impressive happens. By this age I could only have a BA and a MA, learn English, French and a bit of Hebrew, wrote a book that no one wants to publish it, have my heart and mind damaged from two toxic romantic relationships. I don'