One year of transformation journal

 I am on the right track. I am half a kilogram lighter than yesterday. I feel amazing and so proud.  I really want this for myself.  In the morning I had a fried egg with cheese and veggies and a little bit of bread. I took my Indian supplements and the last spirulina pill that I have.  98 kg. 

 It is decided that I should no longer focus on a big weight loss goal and that I should do it 1 kg at a time and 1 cm at a time.  I have forgotten to measure myself today, though.  However, I am more motivated that before to fulfill my goal. The goal for this summer is to drop 9 kgs. I hope that I will be able to do it before fall. I do it for my health.  I started working at 9 a.m. Then I could do some driving school online tests and have read from Kawabata's book between incoming calls and mails.  I am sad that I have spent most of my time scrolling on social media, especially on TikTok. I need to break from social media.  I watched the movie "Unfaithful" from 2002 with Richard Gere and Diane Lane.

 Today I woke up early and I started cleaning my room. I decluttered it and cleaned my desk and my night stand. I took down the spider webs and dusted the furniture.  Then, in the afternoon I made tortellini with a la Toscana sauce.  It was a good day.  I did not weigh myself in.  

 Sorry for not writing here at all.  I've been busy, OK?  If I am not at work doing overtime hours, I am at Ploiesti taking driving lessons, if I am not there, then I am at work in Bucharest.  I have neglected myself a bit in some days, in others I did everything in my powers to become my best version and exhausted myself. I hope that I will become better day by day.  To summarize what I did in the last month: I DID GOOD.  I survived, I lived beautifully. I met new people and seen new places. My driving skills have improved. I read two books and seen a couple of movies.  I ate well and exercised a bit. I did more walking this month. I posted a Youtube video. Today my ayurvedic products came in. I want to grow my hair and I am very excited to try my new hair products.  Later edit: The products are nice. However, I applied too much of hair oil on my scalp and the indian shampoo, because it doesn't contain SLS, didn't clean my hair properly. So durin...

I write this on the 2nd of June.  I worked hard these days and I started reading Daphne du Maurier's novel " Frenchman's Creek". So far I like it, but I don't have too much of a motivation to read. I have occupied my time with watching weight loss shows and playing mystery games. I also did some learning for driver's school.  The dress that I wanted came back on stock at HnM and I could purchase it. However it took a long time to arrive and when it arrived I found it too tight on my breasts and I could barely close the zipper and breathe in it. I am now even more motivated than ever to loose weight. I need to lose weight to fit in this gorgeous dress. I started to weigh in almost on a daily basis because when I don't I tend to forget that I am on a weight loss journey and start binge eating. I don't even know how I managed to put on this much weight again. 

I started the weekend with doing some cleaning . Mom made legumes ciorba and it was incredible.  I feel motivated to loose weight.  I have finished my bottle of CLA. I placed an HnM order because I found some cool stuff and I deserve cool stuff. However, I could not find on stock the coolest dress ever. 

 I woke up early today and very refreshed.  I made myself the breakfast (one fried egg + chicken breast + gouda cheese + cherry tomatoes + bread) and I decided to drink a lot of water today to clean up my body.  For lunch I had a Mexican tuna salad and for dinner I chicken thigh with polenta.  I tidied up my room a bit.  Movie : Mulan (I think that this movie is underappreciated) Book : Djuna Barnes - Nightwood I am a better version than yesterday. 

 I woke up early, before the alarm clock and I had my breakfast. I applied sunscreen. Then I logged in for work one hour earlier, because I need to recover from Monday, when I went to register for the driving school.  I continued reading from Djuna Barnes's book "Nightwood".  I didn't weigh in today.

I logged in for work one hour earlier, because I need to recover some hours.  I didn't calculate what I ate or what I weighed for the past few days. I am still taking my supplements.  I took some driving lessons on the app for an hour and for another hour I did some tests.  In the evening I started reading Djuna Barnes's book "Nightwood".

 Today I woke up at 6 a.m., brushed my teeth and took my supplements and then I headed to Mizil.  There, my driving instructor waited for me and we went to Ploiesti, where we did the papers for driving school. I successfully subscribed to it. 🚗 So soon I will be a driver on the roads of this marvelous country!  I arrived in Mizil at noon and then I went to Lidl supermarket and I bought some groceries. I arrived home at 2h45 p.m. and I logged in for work at 3 p.m. until 8 p.m.  I felt so sleepy in the afternoon, but I was so relieved that I got it done. Now I have to go through with it, I can't back down now. This is no longer a resolution. 💥

I wasn't in the mood for anything today.  I washed my hair and mosturized myself everywhere. I prepared myself for leaving for Ploiesti tomorrow. 

My presence on social media goes almost unnoticed. I decided to stop worrying about it and just be myself. I reduced the number of hashtags.  There isn't much to say about the past few days, except that I worked, I started reading Ovidiu Eugen Chirovici's novel "The book of Mirrors", and I am continuing on watching The Outlander.  Today I made a cake for my family.  I have been neglectful about myself. It is time that I change this. It is odd how I notice that I am wasting time on doing something unimportant only when I am writing about it. This is what everyone on YouTube is talking about, and also Marcus Aurelius mentioned it: "write about your day". 

You won't believe what I did today!😍 I called the guy at the driving school and told him that I wanted to start. He said OK and we will meet up on Monday to make the registration documents. I am so excited about this but I am also very afraid of driving and producing an accident. However, it is my dream to have a driver's license and it's on my resolution list every year. This year is the last year that this is on my resolution list.😏 In the evening I went to the doctor's office to get a necessary paper for the registration.  I also finished reading Kristin Hannah's book "Night Road". And, oh my God!, what a trip that has been!

 Three weeks have already passed since I started the journey of becoming my best version. I don't feel that I have accomplished much in these past 3 weeks, but this challenge makes me push through. I do take my supplements daily, my skin is glowing, I read more, my skin is glowing and I am more careful with what I eat. But I don't feel that I did enough and I didn't reach my full potential just yet. I am still fat, I am still having only one source of income, I am still an unpublished author. However, nothing can stop me from fulfilling my dreams of becoming the version that I am supposed to be: the dream girl, the IT girl, the Heather.  Today the French had a day off, so I didn't have any mails or calls. At lunch I made tortellini with tomato sauce and veggies. I read from Kristin Hannah's book and rearranged the bookshelves that are in my bedroom. Later I wrote a poem and I cooked chicken goulash and spinach and green onion salad for my family. After dinner I watc...

 I woke up at around 9:30 a.m.  I had my protein shake and I read 100 pages from Kristin Hannah's book, "Night Road".  At lunch I had rooster ciorba (a kind of soup, but sour) with green onions. I made a pineapple cake in the evening. 🍍 In the evening I applied a Disney face mask on my face and the results were perfection. 👩👌 Breakfast: protein shake  Lunch: Rooster Ciorba+green onions  Snack: cream cheese stuffed pickled peppers  Dinner: spinach and green onion salad + pineapple cake 

 I woke up today at around 7 a.m. I feel sore from yesterday's workouts.  I went to Mizil Town with my dad. I went to the hair salon and cut my hair. It cost me 40 lei + 5 lei tipping. It is too expensive if you ask me. The hairstylist cut a little bit too much from my hair because she said it was too damaged. Then I went to Lidl supermarket and bought food for the family. One of our friends called me to offer me spinach from his garden. I found the offer to be very generous, as I need a lot of greens in my life.  I couldn't exercise today because it hurt me too much. The veterinarian's assistant visited and I asked him if we could vaccinate the dogs, which we did. The little dog got scared and peed on herself.  I watched the coronation with my mom. And in the evening I cooked Breakfast: Protein shake  Lunch: veggies + salami + cream cheese stuffed small peppers + baguette + tuna salad  Snack: white chocolate + pink lady apple  Dinner: spinach salad wi...

Woah! What a huge day was today! I woke up at around 9 a.m. I had my supplements and my protein shake.  I woke up lighter today and I think that that also contributed to my wellbeing.  Then I went to work. I had a lot of work to do because our customers had troubles with our apps this morning; two of them were not working anymore. So I had a lot of calls and mails and tickets to keep me busy until afternoon.  When everything calmed down I read the last 50 pages from Meg Mason's book, "Sorrow and Bliss" and I read another 50 from Kristin Hannah's book, "Night Road". After work I did a work out from one of Chloe Ting's programs that I abandoned last year. I felt good. And I washed my hair.  My mom mad chicken thighs and potatoes and I had to resist the urge to eat a lot in the evening. So I made myself a salad with lettuce, green onion and vinaigrette and I also had a few potatoes with eat because I craved for them a little. Now I am going on my other blog...

It was so cloudy today and I didn't feel like doing anything productive I did have a lot to work though, especially in the first part of the day.  In the evening I couldn't read more than 20 pages from this book. I didn't cheat on my diet today, but I wasn't in caloric deficit too much. I didn't feel like working out. It is ok.

Although I am still on period and I have experienced huge cramps today, I had a lot of energy end I felt super motivated.  I woke up at around 8:15 a.m. I did my morning routine, I did some stretching with Pamela Reif on Youtube and then I had my protein shake.    In the morning, since I didn't have much work to do, I started to write a review for Sofia Segovia's novel, "The Murmur of bees", a novel which I started reading during this journey. I felt over productive today.  At lunch I had a boiled egg, rice cakes, some leftover ham salad and some cherry tomatoes and cucumbers.  At dinner I cooked myself a greens salad and a carrot cream soup and I had them with rice cakes as well.  🍅🥒🧅🥗🍘🧀 I feel good about myself. 😍 Now I am about to read from Meg Mason's book. I need to recover yesterday's reading progress, because I only read 60 pages yesterday. 📖 Read more articles:  Yesterday

What do you do when you feel that you haven't done anything so far?  I don't have an answer to this question. If someone asks me this I am sure that I can give them a few ideas and advices. However, I cannot seem to be able to give myself the same ideas and advices. When it comes to me, I always self sabotage.  15 days have passed and I haven't moved. I am still in the same place, still as fat, still as unknown. I must change. I must push myself. I must bring in the same attitude that I had when I was in college when I wanted to quit my job and college and just travel. Then I remember why I wanted to go to college and why I wasn't supposed to quit.  Now, that I am 29 yo, I feel that I let myself down, because when I was 23, I imagined my 29 yo self rich and with the books published and maybe with a movie script on the table of one of the greatest movie companies. I wish that I did more until this age.  I must not waste my time anymore. I must grind and push through. ...