One year of transformation journal

I write this on the 2nd of June.  I worked hard these days and I started reading Daphne du Maurier's novel " Frenchman's Creek". So far I like it, but I don't have too much of a motivation to read. I have occupied my time with watching weight loss shows and playing mystery games. I also did some learning for driver's school.  The dress that I wanted came back on stock at HnM and I could purchase it. However it took a long time to arrive and when it arrived I found it too tight on my breasts and I could barely close the zipper and breathe in it. I am now even more motivated than ever to loose weight. I need to lose weight to fit in this gorgeous dress. I started to weigh in almost on a daily basis because when I don't I tend to forget that I am on a weight loss journey and start binge eating. I don't even know how I managed to put on this much weight again. 

I started the weekend with doing some cleaning . Mom made legumes ciorba and it was incredible.  I feel motivated to loose weight.  I have finished my bottle of CLA. I placed an HnM order because I found some cool stuff and I deserve cool stuff. However, I could not find on stock the coolest dress ever. 

 I woke up early today and very refreshed.  I made myself the breakfast (one fried egg + chicken breast + gouda cheese + cherry tomatoes + bread) and I decided to drink a lot of water today to clean up my body.  For lunch I had a Mexican tuna salad and for dinner I chicken thigh with polenta.  I tidied up my room a bit.  Movie : Mulan (I think that this movie is underappreciated) Book : Djuna Barnes - Nightwood I am a better version than yesterday. 

 I woke up early, before the alarm clock and I had my breakfast. I applied sunscreen. Then I logged in for work one hour earlier, because I need to recover from Monday, when I went to register for the driving school.  I continued reading from Djuna Barnes's book "Nightwood".  I didn't weigh in today.

 Today I woke up at 6 a.m., brushed my teeth and took my supplements and then I headed to Mizil.  There, my driving instructor waited for me and we went to Ploiesti, where we did the papers for driving school. I successfully subscribed to it. 🚗 So soon I will be a driver on the roads of this marvelous country!  I arrived in Mizil at noon and then I went to Lidl supermarket and I bought some groceries. I arrived home at 2h45 p.m. and I logged in for work at 3 p.m. until 8 p.m.  I felt so sleepy in the afternoon, but I was so relieved that I got it done. Now I have to go through with it, I can't back down now. This is no longer a resolution. 💥

I wasn't in the mood for anything today.  I washed my hair and mosturized myself everywhere. I prepared myself for leaving for Ploiesti tomorrow. 

My presence on social media goes almost unnoticed. I decided to stop worrying about it and just be myself. I reduced the number of hashtags.  There isn't much to say about the past few days, except that I worked, I started reading Ovidiu Eugen Chirovici's novel "The book of Mirrors", and I am continuing on watching The Outlander.  Today I made a cake for my family.  I have been neglectful about myself. It is time that I change this. It is odd how I notice that I am wasting time on doing something unimportant only when I am writing about it. This is what everyone on YouTube is talking about, and also Marcus Aurelius mentioned it: "write about your day". 

You won't believe what I did today!😍 I called the guy at the driving school and told him that I wanted to start. He said OK and we will meet up on Monday to make the registration documents. I am so excited about this but I am also very afraid of driving and producing an accident. However, it is my dream to have a driver's license and it's on my resolution list every year. This year is the last year that this is on my resolution list.😏 In the evening I went to the doctor's office to get a necessary paper for the registration.  I also finished reading Kristin Hannah's book "Night Road". And, oh my God!, what a trip that has been!

 I woke up at around 9:30 a.m.  I had my protein shake and I read 100 pages from Kristin Hannah's book, "Night Road".  At lunch I had rooster ciorba (a kind of soup, but sour) with green onions. I made a pineapple cake in the evening. 🍍 In the evening I applied a Disney face mask on my face and the results were perfection. 👩👌 Breakfast: protein shake  Lunch: Rooster Ciorba+green onions  Snack: cream cheese stuffed pickled peppers  Dinner: spinach and green onion salad + pineapple cake 

Woah! What a huge day was today! I woke up at around 9 a.m. I had my supplements and my protein shake.  I woke up lighter today and I think that that also contributed to my wellbeing.  Then I went to work. I had a lot of work to do because our customers had troubles with our apps this morning; two of them were not working anymore. So I had a lot of calls and mails and tickets to keep me busy until afternoon.  When everything calmed down I read the last 50 pages from Meg Mason's book, "Sorrow and Bliss" and I read another 50 from Kristin Hannah's book, "Night Road". After work I did a work out from one of Chloe Ting's programs that I abandoned last year. I felt good. And I washed my hair.  My mom mad chicken thighs and potatoes and I had to resist the urge to eat a lot in the evening. So I made myself a salad with lettuce, green onion and vinaigrette and I also had a few potatoes with eat because I craved for them a little. Now I am going on my other blog...

It was so cloudy today and I didn't feel like doing anything productive I did have a lot to work though, especially in the first part of the day.  In the evening I couldn't read more than 20 pages from this book. I didn't cheat on my diet today, but I wasn't in caloric deficit too much. I didn't feel like working out. It is ok.

Although I am still on period and I have experienced huge cramps today, I had a lot of energy end I felt super motivated.  I woke up at around 8:15 a.m. I did my morning routine, I did some stretching with Pamela Reif on Youtube and then I had my protein shake.    In the morning, since I didn't have much work to do, I started to write a review for Sofia Segovia's novel, "The Murmur of bees", a novel which I started reading during this journey. I felt over productive today.  At lunch I had a boiled egg, rice cakes, some leftover ham salad and some cherry tomatoes and cucumbers.  At dinner I cooked myself a greens salad and a carrot cream soup and I had them with rice cakes as well.  🍅🥒🧅🥗🍘🧀 I feel good about myself. 😍 Now I am about to read from Meg Mason's book. I need to recover yesterday's reading progress, because I only read 60 pages yesterday. 📖 Read more articles:  Yesterday

What do you do when you feel that you haven't done anything so far?  I don't have an answer to this question. If someone asks me this I am sure that I can give them a few ideas and advices. However, I cannot seem to be able to give myself the same ideas and advices. When it comes to me, I always self sabotage.  15 days have passed and I haven't moved. I am still in the same place, still as fat, still as unknown. I must change. I must push myself. I must bring in the same attitude that I had when I was in college when I wanted to quit my job and college and just travel. Then I remember why I wanted to go to college and why I wasn't supposed to quit.  Now, that I am 29 yo, I feel that I let myself down, because when I was 23, I imagined my 29 yo self rich and with the books published and maybe with a movie script on the table of one of the greatest movie companies. I wish that I did more until this age.  I must not waste my time anymore. I must grind and push through. ...

 Woah! Two weeks already?  The time passes so fast.  In the past two weeks I can say that I implemented some new habits.  It is now in my habit to have a lot of water daily, to have my spirulina, lion's mane and CLA supplements with each meal, to apply sunscreen and have good meals. I continue to have cheat days but that is ok and I have stopped to punish myself for them.  Overall, my health improved. I can feel it. My skin shows it in the mirror and although I have the same weight as when I started the journey, I feel that there is a slight change in the body. I am more energic, I no longer have energy drops and my energy stays the same for the whole day, although I am on massive period.  Today I woke up with severe blood clots and spotted all over so I had to take an emergency shower. I hope this heavy cycle is not due to the supplements that I am taking. If this means that I am going to have a shorter period so be it.  In the morning I had 2 fried e...

On Saturday I woke up at 7 am and made coffee for the family. I then started to wash and chop down the veggies for the appetizers, as my aunt chopped down the meat and cheese. Then I helped my other aunt to prepare the rice. After that I arranged the appetizer plates and my brother helped me with that.  We reheated in the oven the barbequed chicken thighs that my dad prepared the day before. When the guests and the priest arrived, I helped my family serve the guests.  My grandma's commemoration lasted until 1 p.m. I then fell asleep in my bedroom and woke up at around 5 p.m. When I woke up my aunt said that I did very good and that I was diligent. That warmed my heart.  In the morning I had a berry protein shake and at lunch some veggies with meat and cheese. In the evening I had the same thing. On Sunday I woke up at around 10 a.m. I can't remember what I ate, but I had my supplements with every meal. The entire day was sleepy and I don't remember doing anything notably....

Today I took a day off from work because I needed to help my mom with the preparations for grandma's 40 day death commemoration. I woke up at around 09 a.m. and went to the nearest town with our family's friend to buy food and necessities for the commemoration. My mom had already started to make food for the event before I was gone. In the afternoon my auntie visited and stayed the night. I helped my auntie and mom with the food packages for the people. It is customary in Romania to give away food and invite people over when it is a funeral or a commemoration. In the evening we also made the koliva (a traditional desert made with boiled wheat, walnuts and sugar, served only on funerals or commemorations).  My dad and my uncle made the barbeque for the invitees. We finished the work at around 9:30 p.m. I was so tired that I couldn't fall asleep easily.  I didn't forget to take my supplements and have decent meals. I didn't pay attention to what I was eating, I rememb...

 There isn't much to say here except that this was a normal day. I had my protein shake in the morning, and protein for lunch and dinner.  I felt refreshed all day long although I am in the week before my period starts and I usually feel sluggish. I had a lot of work to do today. I feel the supplements really kicking in and I have never felt better.  I walked a bit in the evening.

 I woke up at eight o'clock. Despite the fact that it was super chilly and cloudy outside, I felt awesome for the entire day. I didn't have energy spikes or lows. I think this is due to the new supplements that I've started to take since yesterday. The day went easily and I didn't have too much work to do, so I read 160 pages from Kristin Harmel's book "The Winemaker's Wife". In the evening I did some bullet journaling and this was my day. I'd say that I ate pretty clean today, except for 2 Roshen chocolate candies at lunch.  Weight : 98.2 kg ↑ Wake up : 08:00 Breakfast : supplements + protein shake  Lunch : supplements + 2 drumsticks + one boiled egg + 2 pralines  Snacks : spirulina latte+apple+2 boiled eggs+ cucumber slices + leftover grean beans + 1 slice of bread  Dinner : supplements + veggies stew + polenta + cottage cheese with sour cream and spring onions Book : Kristin Harmel - The Winemaker's Wife. 

 I woke up early today, had cheese and veggies for breakfast and started working at around 9 a.m. At noon I received my supplements and made myself a spirulina latte. The taste is not bad but I don't think I will ever be eager to have a spirulina latte. Before lunch I had my supplements (lion's mane capsule, 2 spirulina capsules and CLA capsule).  I read around 130 pages from Segovia's book, which absolutely broke my heart and finished the rest before bed.  Before dinner I had a 15 minutes stroll with my brother in the fields and I took the same supplements that I took for lunch.  Today I also opted for a cheaper mobile subscription, which offers me the same benefits as my old one. I am very happy about it because the services are better. Weight : N/A Wake up: 8 a.m. Skin care : N/A Breakfast : veggies + cheese+ bread Snack : spirulina latte Lunch : spirulina+lion's mane+CLA + 2 fried eggs + bread+mushrooms Dinner : spirulina+lion's mane+CLA capsule+ bread and yogu...