One year of transformation journal

 It is decided that I should no longer focus on a big weight loss goal and that I should do it 1 kg at a time and 1 cm at a time.  I have forgotten to measure myself today, though.  However, I am more motivated that before to fulfill my goal. The goal for this summer is to drop 9 kgs. I hope that I will be able to do it before fall. I do it for my health.  I started working at 9 a.m. Then I could do some driving school online tests and have read from Kawabata's book between incoming calls and mails.  I am sad that I have spent most of my time scrolling on social media, especially on TikTok. I need to break from social media.  I watched the movie "Unfaithful" from 2002 with Richard Gere and Diane Lane.

Today I read for almost the entire time.  I finished reading "The Frenchman's Creek" by Daphné du Maurier and started reading "The Lake" by Yasunari Kawamata.  I made shrimp pastas. 

I wasn't in the mood for anything today.  I washed my hair and mosturized myself everywhere. I prepared myself for leaving for Ploiesti tomorrow. 

 I woke up at around 9:30 a.m.  I had my protein shake and I read 100 pages from Kristin Hannah's book, "Night Road".  At lunch I had rooster ciorba (a kind of soup, but sour) with green onions. I made a pineapple cake in the evening. 🍍 In the evening I applied a Disney face mask on my face and the results were perfection. 👩👌 Breakfast: protein shake  Lunch: Rooster Ciorba+green onions  Snack: cream cheese stuffed pickled peppers  Dinner: spinach and green onion salad + pineapple cake 

What do you do when you feel that you haven't done anything so far?  I don't have an answer to this question. If someone asks me this I am sure that I can give them a few ideas and advices. However, I cannot seem to be able to give myself the same ideas and advices. When it comes to me, I always self sabotage.  15 days have passed and I haven't moved. I am still in the same place, still as fat, still as unknown. I must change. I must push myself. I must bring in the same attitude that I had when I was in college when I wanted to quit my job and college and just travel. Then I remember why I wanted to go to college and why I wasn't supposed to quit.  Now, that I am 29 yo, I feel that I let myself down, because when I was 23, I imagined my 29 yo self rich and with the books published and maybe with a movie script on the table of one of the greatest movie companies. I wish that I did more until this age.  I must not waste my time anymore. I must grind and push through. ...