Day 1 - Today is the day I start

Last night as I was scrolling on a very famous app, I came across a video which I think is a turning point for my life. It was an edited clip from the Marvel's Avengers meeting room, shown as if the Avengers were biblical characters. Nat was a guardian Angel, Sam was Jesus etc. They were all watching a footage of a young fat lady sleeping all day on her couch, scrolling and binge-watching TV series. The description said something similar to "God and His court in Heaven making me watch how I spent my life". And it hit me, because that person was like me. 

If I should honestly describe myself, I would say that I am a 29 yo work from home, obese, single, almost blind woman, who lives in her parents house in the country side, where nothing really impressive happens. By this age I could only have a BA and a MA, learn English, French and a bit of Hebrew, wrote a book that no one wants to publish it, have my heart and mind damaged from two toxic romantic relationships. I don't have a drivers license, nor a car. Although I graduated from Bachelor's and Master's and that I wrote a book, I feel that I haven't done anything notable in my life ; people here in Romania graduate all the time and the fact that you have a BA and a MA diploma is not impressive at all. 

So here I am. In my parents' house for 3 years now, working from my bed, staying away from new connections, from getting myself known in the world, staying hidden and letting my youth and health fade away between the four walls of my room. But I don't want that. I want to have my book published, I want my driver's license, a slimmer and healthier body, longer and healthier hair, more followers on social media, perhaps a new bachelor's diploma, I want to read and write more, I want to travel more and have more friends, I want a bigger paycheck and a house and a car on my name, I want to be smarter. 

 I always imagine that that day will come after I die, when God will sat me down at a table and ask me "What did you do with the life I gave you?". What will I say to Him then ? Will it be: "God, I spent most of my life in bed, scrolling down on apps indefinitely" or will it be: "God, I did this, and this and that and that, and I met these people, and read these books" and I imagine how much He will rejoice when He will hear the latter. 

 Today is the that that I start becoming the best version of myself. I want tomorrow to be a better version of me that I am today. And I want this to happen with each day that passes. 

I read somewhere that if you grind for 6 months, it will put you ahead in life by 5 years. Let's do that. 

Today, in my first day, I uninstalled the online streaming platforms and the food apps from my phone.

Weight this morning: 99.4 kg

Wake up: 10:27

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and an apple 

Lunch: a veggie salad with susai (a bitter medicinal plant) and 20 g of cheese (instead of chicken)

Snack: a banana

Dinner: small portion of pork stake + cabbage and carrot salad

Book: Emily Dickinson - My life stood a loaded gun